Drunk
by SoujiroAki
Summary: Ritsu Onodera's drunken thoughts had him lost and confused. But will Takano be there to save him? Takano x Onodera one shot.


Drunk

Ritsu Onodera banged his head hard on his desk counter. He feels like a total failure. He left his old job trying to prove himself worthy of doing something on his own yet here he is, inside his own messy apartment overdue of cleaning for months under a pile of manuscripts tainted with red ink and crude handwriting full of corrections he doesn't even know if he can find a universe on which he can finish all of them in.

Maybe he's giving up too soon and feeling slightly regretful of the decisions he has made because everything is just not turning out the way he had wanted it to be. Had he acted rashly because of nonsense pride? He refused to admit it. Admitting it means that he had to go crawling back to his family's influences and he'd rather die trying than do that. He just can't give up. For now.

Onodera felt empty. This void has been getting bigger for weeks now – whenever his carefully edited work gets rejected, whenever he fails to catch the last train, every bento meal he buys at the convenience store and every awkward encounter he's been having with an uptight Takano being extremely disappointed of just how much of an idiot he is at his job.

Takano.

Stumbling at the thought of him gave his stomach an uncomfortable jerk.

Sure, Takano has always been a pain – with his deep, booming voice, dry, can't miss sarcasm and a glare that can make even the biggest of ice caps melt but Onodera doesn't know why there's always that part of him finding comfort just to see Takano in the same room.

Maybe the loneliness is not really just about the failures, maybe it's because of the fact that he's dealing with them all alone?

It's stupid. Really, really stupid.

He got up and went to splash cold water in his face. It has been a long night. He's exhausted, no stroke of brilliance has come up to him in the last couple of hours and his work seem to double in the process.

It's true what they say. When life flips you off, it gives you just that and then some. Fantastic.

Onodera felt a slight grumble in his stomach. He hasn't eaten properly for days now and whatever food he stuffs in his face is usually something store bought and disgusting. He walked over to the fridge and opened it only to find a lonely can of tuna that turned his stomach once he lifted the lid and saw the contents. He threw the can in the bin and decided to head out for food. The clerk at the nearby store would be so happy to see him. Sometimes he feels that his purchases there alone is keeping them open for business.

He threw on his coat and scarf and walked out. What a pathetic, miserable life this is.

The automatic doors of his apartment slid open and the stark night complemented Onodera's mood. He walked slowly and sighed.

Onodera arrived at the store and browsed the familiar aisles of food items he's been constantly buying for weeks now. He threw them unceremoniously in the shopping basket and looked over to find that his favorite energy drinks are out of stock. Brilliant.

He looked over at the large fridge at the end corner of the store and tried to select a new one that can keep him awake forever. There are dozens of them and his sleepless eyes started to water just by looking at the seemingly endless cans and bottles in front of him. He was about to pick up a poisonous looking green bottle up when he saw the letters on the fridge next to him.

Beer.

Well, he hasn't had one in a while, the last time he did being disastrous as it led to a night with Takano that he couldn't even remember a single detail of the night before. He can fairly deduce what happened though given that he woke up with curious body pains and a smug, annoying Takano he could have punched him in the face if he weren't dying with embarrassment at the time.

Why not? He's a grown man for Christ sake and the mood he's in certainly calls the need for a little bit of alcohol. One can couldn't hurt right?

Onodera opened the fridge door and held the can. He felt that one would not be enough and picked up another one. Because of indecision he returned both cans and picked up a 6 pack. He doesn't know why but it felt right. He closed the fridge and proceeded to pay. The knowing smile on the clerk's face is priceless.

Instead of going straight home, he sat on the chairs outside the store. The tinkling of the beers seem to beckon him to open them and he's heeding to the call without question. He got one out of the bag, pressed the lid and the fizz coming out of the can made it even more appealing. Onodera took one sip. It was bitter but the taste in his mouth seem to placate his nerves. Before he knew it, the can lay empty in his hand.

"Wow. That felt kinda good."

He popped another one and like the first before it, he gulped it down within minutes. The third can suffered the same fate and the fourth one was also no exception. His head started to feel a little light but he can't seem to stop himself. It's as if every vein in his body is celebrating this new development and he's very much happy to oblige. The fifth and sixth can dropped on the floor with a clank.

"Ooooppps. *hic* Outta beer *hic*. That can't be *hic* right *hic*.*

In his drunken state Onodera wobbled inside the store, bought another 6 pack and downed one can upon paying on the counter. He walked out, beer on one hand and walked. He doesn't know what direction he's going but that's not important. There are four more beers keeping him company so screw it.

He held the can he's holding up his face and smirked. "Who *hic* knew you could *hic* taste so *hic* good? Thank you *hic* beer for not being able to *hic* shout at me. At least you and *hic* I can *hic* be happy forever *hic*" Onodera rambled on, turning left, right and crossing streets disposing empty beer cans as he went.

Onodera rummaged inside the shopping bag he's carrying, only to find out that he is once again, out of beer.

"Oh crap."

His inebriated state had him slumping down the side of the nearest light post. Onodera looked up and saw a starless sky, bleak and dark and depressing.

"Eeehhhh? Even you *hic* suck like *hic* me huh?" he whispered. "Just like what *hic* everybody thinks *hic*. Every… *hic*"

Tears ran down his eyes. It burned and stung and prickled his skin but he can't stop it.

Onodera sobbed uncontrollably. He has read a lot of literary work about hurt and failure and regret, but no amount of carefully calculated words can describe it in real life. It was all three slapping him on the face and rendering him helpless at every strike. Onodera clenched his fists and his nails dug into his flesh. Perhaps if he inflicted more of the physical pain he'd forget the ones he truly feels.

A shrill ringing broke Onodera's thoughts. His phone alarm went off. The screen read 2 a.m. He remembered that the reason why he set up an alarm every day at 2 a.m. is to remind himself to get some sleep, but most of the time that's the cue for him to brew another pot of instant coffee.

Onodera turned the alarm off and wiped his face. There's a cold, sharp wind blowing in his direction. He took a deep breath and gingerly stood up. The memory of instant coffee made him realize that it's exactly what he needed right this moment. He just has to go home and –

Crap.

Onodera turned and does not recognize the street he's in. He looked the other way and he has no recollection of this place at all. With dread creeping steadily fast inside him, he ran over to the next block and read the street sign. His mouth gaped in horror.

Onodera is lost. At 2 a.m. In the morning. Drunk.

He ran two more blocks. Nothing. The next street did not give him anything either. He tried to recall where he might have turned but the bitter taste still in his tongue is proof that that's all he can remember. Must be pathetic that in times like these he can't even depend on himself.

Onodera's heart beat wildly. The streets were deserted and only a few lights on the posts are working. He felt like crying again, not because of all the melodramatic things he's been mulling about earlier but because of the panic that has now settled in. He felt the weight of the phone in his pocket. But who could he call in the middle of the night to help him in this ordeal when he doesn't even know the hell he's in?

With a harsh realization dawning up on him, Onodera stopped dead in his tracks eyes wide in shock.

Shit.

It was literally the first face that flashed in his mind. Takano. Masamune freaking Takano. That's when Onodera realized that he doesn't really have anybody else.

Just him.

He held up the phone and hesitated. Letters became blurred and hazy and there's a pain in his chest that is not caused by the sudden panic attack. He scrolled slowly, stopped at the name Editor from Hades on his phone book and hit the dial button with closed eyes.

"Please don't pick up so I can dial somebody else, please don't – "

"Hello?"

A deep albeit sleepy voice answered the other line.

"He… llo…"

Onodera did not know why hearing his voice felt like he's already been saved.

"Hello? Who is this?" Takano's tone now changed from sleepy to somehow agitated.

"Takano… it's me, Ono… dera."

"Onodera? Why are you calling me in this ungodly hour?"

Onodera knew that he had to say something. But his mouth became dry and his breath hitched. The burning sensation in his eyes is back again and wished fervently that he could physically reach the other end of the receiver.

"Sorry. Takano… I… I… Takano! Taka… no!" He choked and a fresh streak of tears ran down his face.

"Onodera? What is it? Are you crying? Onodera? ANSWER ME GODDAMN IT!" Takano is bellowing on the other line.

Tipsy, frightened and sobbing, Onodera started blubbering.

"I don't know where I am! Takano! I'm so scared! I can't go back! Takano! Takano I don't know where I am! I don't know! I don't know! Can you come get me? But I don't know where I am! I don't know!" He went on saying the exact same thing for a full minute.

"Onodera! What are you talking about? Can you explain –"Another bout of wails cut the now clearly alarmed Takano.

"I'm lost and I am all alone here and I don't know where I am! Takano….Takano! Takano… Come find me… please…" The pain in Onodera's cries ripped through the wires.

"Onodera." A firm, calming voice had Onodera listen in again.

"Yes…"

"Listen to me. I'm here. You're not alone. Don't be scared. I'm here, okay? Now please just calm down and tell me what happened. I'll be here. Take a deep breath and tell me, I'll be listening."

The undeniable pull of that voice. It swept through him like a drug.

Onodera talked. He told Takano all of the things that he remembered: The late night trip to the store, the beer, buying another set of beer and the muddled memories of the streets, signs and stupidity he had afterwards. Takano listened, asked questions and encouraged him to remember, little as he could to do so.

"Wait for me there. Do not move and wait for me there, you understand?" Takano said.

"But how do you know where I am?" Onodera asked.

"I don't know but I will come get you."

"You will?"

"Yes, I will." A tensed silence permeated the conversation. Takano breathed in and one little word had all of Onodera's veins stop working. "Promise."

With that note, Takano hung up.

Onodera did not know how long he stood there with the phone still firmly in his ears.

The busy tone on the other line had been playing for some time yet he can't seem to put the phone down. Onodera stood there and he can almost hear the beating of his heart in his chest.

Takano.

How many times had he said his name or thought about him tonight?

Onodera shook his head and tried to regain his footing. He's not used to drinking and although the sudden panic attack earlier sobered him up momentarily, the light headedness is back and a dizzy spell is making him feel faint. He walked slowly to the nearest side walk where there's light and sat down hugging his knees tightly to his chest. Freezing to death is not quite the kind of demise he's been hoping for then again given the predicament he's in, it's kind of unfair to rule it out.

Onodera did not know how long he sat there. He thought he heard the sound of an engine stop nearby but he was too weak and cold to move. A shadow blocked the light coming from the post and Onodera looked up to see a winded Takano in front of him.

"Finally."

Onodera watched Takano crouch in front of him. Takano's face is flushed, like he's been running a while. Onodera felt a hand up his cheek and the warmth spreading through him is exquisite.

"Takano… you're here." Onodera managed to say.

He's really here. Takano is touching him. Takano found him.

"Yes I am. Are you okay?" Takano's eyes cut through his. The dim light failed to hide the concern and relief visibly exposed as Takano continued to gaze at him thoughtfully. He wanted to say yes to his question but instead what came out was,

"I don't know."

Takano closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"BAKA!"

Onodera's brain felt like exploding. Takano's commanding voice is making his head ache it's about to split open.

"What do you think you're doing? Are you really this stupid?!" Takano shouted directly in his face.

"I got lost! I told you!" Onodera's dream like state upon seeing Takano is now replaced by an unexpected surge of resentment.

"You sure did! What the hell were you thinking?!"

Onodera's nerves were suddenly in a raging fire. He stood up quite quickly and his sight blacked out for a moment but he tried to fight through the drunkenness. He had to deal with Takano who also stood up.

"I don't know what I was thinking! If you're here to just yell at me again you should not have come! You didn't have to come find me! You didn't have to do anything!" Onodera can feel his voice cracking.

For the love of all the celestials not now. Please.

"Yes I didn't have to do anything Onodera but I did so I think I deserve an explanation why you had to wander around and got yourself lost for goodness sake!" Takano's exasperation was pronounced in every word.

So this is how it's going to be? Onodera felt extremely stupid thinking about some absurd, fairy tale like sequence once Takano gets here. Regret is one thing he's been having a hell lot of a dose of recently.

"I was drunk." Onodera said simply.

"Why?"

That is quite the question isn't it? Why?

"Because… because…"

Once again, Onodera's hell broke loose. He wept uncontrollably. His whole body shook as the tremors of his loneliness wash over him. He did not want to do this in front of Takano, but his presence here is just too much. Way too much.

"Onodera…"

"I'm failing at everything! I don't know why Takano! I don't know! Nobody understands that! Nobody understands that I don't even know who I am anymore!" Onodera's words came gushing out of him. Like a deadly poison is being sucked out of him. "And you! There's you… you…"

"What about me Onodera?" The quiet, inflexible tone of Takano's voice is groveling at Onodera's resolve.

"How dare you ask me that. The mere thought of you is torture do you know that? Every day I see you and I don't know what it is that I feel. You broke me, Takano. You did. Do you know what's worse? I have to come home, and every time I close the door sometimes I cry and that's when I realize that I don't have anyone. Do you know how sad that is? Nobody really knows how unhappy I am. No one!" Onodera sobbed noisily. He has been holding the truth back for so long. He looked at Takano and although his expression gave nothing away, the glare from those eyes is unmistakable.

Onodera thought he was going to leave after his sudden eruption but Takano pinned him on the wall and spoke softly.

"You said nobody understands how you feel," Takano's hard, intense gaze is unnerving. "But I do."

Onodera though his hearing had failed him. The thought of Takano in this misery is impossible.

"What? But how?"

"I have never been properly happy ever since you left. Nobody knew that. Because nobody would understand why. How could they? They don't know about us."

Onodera choked.

"But you were never alone." Onodera could not help himself.

"I was. Because you were never there when I needed you to."

Onodera's chest felt like it's going to burst. For so long he tried to figure out why his misery is torturing him even when good things happen. He tried all this time to convince himself that he was okay, only to be proven wrong time and time again. Now, Takano is standing in front of him, feeling the same kind of agony he's been trying to explain to himself for years.

Onodera lowered his gaze and tried to hide his face from Takano. Maybe the best kind of honesty is really the one that you can make for yourself.

"I wanted you to be there too."

Onodera wanted to see Takano's reaction but he was too embarrassed to look up.

"Baka."

Onodera cannot help but submit to Takano's indignation.

"That, I know."

"God, you are such an idiot."

Onodera thought that Takano would start shouting again. His diminished state worsened by the second but a hand seized his wrist pushing him forward with a desperation brought forth by Takano's arms locking tightly around him.

"Takano…"

"I was so worried sick do you know that? I thought I was losing my mind. I thought something happened to you. Don't ever do that to me again. Ever. Jesus, Onodera. Why won't you let me take care of you?"

Onodera has had his share of tears today yet hearing Takano had him going at it again. Holding him, just the two of them in their own, flawed world somehow makes everything so damn perfect.

"I'm sorry…" Onodera said clutching Takano's coat.

"It's alright. I'm here now. Let's go home, okay?"

"Okay."

Takano helped him get inside the car. He put on a jacket around him and tucked him in on the front passenger seat. Takano got inside and as soon as the engine started running, Onodera's cares left him and went into a deep, comfortable sleep.

Onodera's eyes opened. His head was throbbing and he doesn't recognize the dark room he's in.

"Ohayou."

Takano is sitting beside the bed, a mug of what he can smell as coffee in his hand.

"O… ha… you." There was a bitter tang Onodera tasted in his mouth. The events of last night suddenly flooded all over him.

"How are you feeling?" Takano put the mug down on the bedside table.

"Fine, just a little… uhm… tired." That is such a tricky question.

Takano sat on the bed next to him and held up of all things, his mobile phone.

"Editor from Hades. Interesting name. Also an interesting number under that heading."

Onodera flushed. So Takano had been dawdling on his phone. Typical.

"Are you always like that to other people? That's invasion of privacy you know!" He tried to grab the phone but Takano was too fast for him.

"I know, but you were drunk and it's you." Takano replied.

"What does that even mean?!"

"Well, you're an idiot and I can't seem to help but fall over and over again for the stupidity."

"Wow. How romantic." Onodera said sarcastically.

"Besides," Takano said leaning in. "I think I have already invaded your privacy way too many times."

"TAKANO!"

A sexy smirk crossed Takano's face. He snuggled over to where Onodera was and threw the phone aside. Takano is way too close to where Onodera's mouth is, the tips of their nose touching only to tilt his face away and move his lips next to Onodera's ears.

"Hmmm… I was kind of hoping you would invade mine."

The drift is obvious, sensual and irresistible.

"Takano… please…" But even Onodera knew that that was such a halfhearted protest.

A suggestive chuckle came out of Takano's mouth. Takano brushed his hair aside and as soon as the gap between their mouths closed, the bitter hint of last night's tragedy turned into nothing more but a dull memory buried under the saccharine taste of the promise of more tomorrows like these with Takano's kisses.


End file.
